Here’s a list of the top five topics you should NEVER talk about in a wedding toast.

#1 – The Bride or Groom’s Past Relationships. Don’t do it, even if you’re saying something nice. Comparing your friend’s new spouse to some reject from five years ago might get a laugh. But it also might make things uncomfortable.

Someone’s wedding day should be about their NEW relationship, not their old ones.

#2 – Money. That includes saying something nice like, “Wow, this must have cost a FORTUNE!” The thing is, if it LOOKS like it cost a fortune, it did. And at least one person in the room is probably stressed about it.

So leave the money aspect out of the toast, and just talk about how BEAUTIFUL the wedding is.

#3 – Hard Times in the Bride and Groom’s Relationship. A lot of people want their toast to be funny, which is fine. But make sure it’s a toast, not a ROAST. If they broke up ten times before they finally got engaged, leave that detail out.

#4 – Your Own Failed Marriage. There’s no way to bring it up without embarrassing yourself. It just makes you seem kind of pathetic.

#5 – Backhanded Compliments. People do this all the time: They’re just joking, but they say something like, “Wow, I can’t believe someone like JERRY landed someone like YOU.”

JERRY might think it’s funny. But HER side of the family might be offended, because you’re suggesting she just married a loser.